Requesting Forgiveness (Chapter 7)
Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them. – Bruce Lee
Say Something
There is an element of choice in matters of forgiveness: choice in requesting forgiveness, choice in dispensing forgiveness, and choice also in receiving forgiveness. To the extent that the forgiveness offered may be rejected, it is also up to the trespasser to request or not request forgiveness. In the Holy Bible, requesting forgiveness is the common path to receiving forgiveness. For example, in the Genesis 50:17 account, the brothers of Joseph asked for it; they said something; they “spake” something, specifically asking Joseph to “forgive” them. In response, the request was granted in the language of tears. They did not speak in ‘signs’ that the other was meant to ‘understand.’ A resort to ‘sign language’ when verbalisation is possible could be indicative of a heart too proud to admit its error; a heart seeking something else in the name of ‘peace.’
So shall ye SAY unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when THEY SPAKE unto him (Genesis 50:17).
In the New Testament also, we find the same truth about the protocols of forgiveness, about the importance of concrete confession in obtaining forgiveness. According to Apostle John, confession is a prerequisite for forgiveness: “if…”
IF we CONFESS our sins, he is faithful and just to FORGIVE us our sins, and to CLEANSE us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).
The Cleansing Power of Confession
I am not aware of ‘silent confession,’ unless to God who can read lips and hearts (1 Samuel 2:13). Confession is a concrete statement in speech or in writing. A blank page says nothing, unless in the metaphorical sense of its very blankness, which is subject to different philosophical interpretations. Say something, or write it. Iniquity persists in the darkness of unconfessed faults and offences, but cleansing from the weights of iniquity is achieved through forgiveness in the one who admits their fault enough to confess it. Cleansing, after forgiveness, brings relief, release, health, cleanness. It is like the sunshine after rain.
There can be forgiveness, as an act of the forgiver’s kindness or godliness, without the transgressor’s confession. That kind of concessional forgiveness does not usually come with a cleansing, although it sometimes may, for the forgiver. That is, despite the forgiveness dispensed, the injured forgiver could still be carrying their pain, especially seeing how someone could injure them so badly and still be carrying on with their life as if they had done no harm, or as if the injured person does not exist. But forgiveness that is reached through confession, through the frank admission of wrong and the request for forgiveness, carries a cleansing with it.
That ‘cleansing’ is the taking away, gradually or immediately, of the mutual or private ill-wishes, the shadowy misunderstandings, and the painful recollections that had been brought about by the offence that has now been atoned for through confession. There is nothing as healing to many an injured person as when the injurer admits to their fault. Confession is a noble bridge between iniquity and forgiveness, as well as between iniquity and cleansing.
And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, SAYING, I repent; thou shalt forgive him (Luke 17:4).
Anyone who is so reckless as to trespass seven times in a single day should be prepared to make confessions for forgiveness as many times. Whoever thinks it too embarrasing to return so many times with the same apology in one day should avoid the occasions that warrant it. Confession should be expressed, should be verbalised, should be tangible. “Say” something that the other can hear or read without ambiguity; say it clearly, not in proud metaphors and gestures. Say, “I repent.” Sometimes it is not the many times one trespasses that is an issue as much as the refusal to admit and confess one’s trespass. Forgiveness is great, but forgiveness that comes from confession is greater, for the cleansing it brings to the soul and the body; a cleansing from killer toxins long bottled in by unspeakable griefs. Nutritionists and doctors speak of cleansers; sincere confession is one.
The Conditional Clause…
In 1 John 1:9, so much is predicated on the “if” clause. The conjunction ‘if,’ as well as the conditional clause, “If we confess,” puts the onus of receiving forgiveness primarily on the trespasser; on that person’s initiative and confession. If, according to 1 John 1:9, ‘confession’ is the currency for buying ‘forgiveness,’ the logical implication is that ‘if’ one does not confess, they cannot receive forgiveness even if it were to be magnanimously ‘given’ to or thrown at them. A thing unasked for or unpaid for generally loses value with those who get it, especially if it seems thrust upon them. Request not only puts value on a gift, it also gives value to the giver. Every ‘payment’ for a gift need not be in cash, sometimes it is in works and words.
For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee (Psalm 86:5).
According to the Psalmist here, even with God, it takes confession to ‘download’ forgiveness. The great and loving God, “plenteous in mercy” as He is, is “ready to forgive” only “them that CALL upon [Him].” It is up to “them” to take the initiative and ‘make the call’ or face an otherwise avoidable judgment – without mercy; and He won’t be blamed.
There’s ‘plenty’ of mercy, there’s ‘readiness’ to forgive, there’s a fatted calf to be killed and a party to be called, yet it is only for “them that call” – them that call with their own voice to the Keeper of mercy. There are levels of mercy that nobody else can ‘call’ down for another, no matter how fervently they can pray (Ezekiel 14:13-20). There are levels of mercy that only the guilty can ‘call’ for themselves. Nathan was a great prophet of God while King David, year-long, fought to hide his gossip-rousing sin of adultery. Even with that prophet close by, only David could say to God, “I acknowledge MY TRANSGRESSIONS: and MY SIN is ever before me,” and thus ‘call’ down “ready” mercy upon himself from the Storehouse of plenteous mercy (Psalm 51:3). So, even with God, mercy is not automatic; it follows ‘due process.’ It is neither godly wisdom nor spiritual magnanimity to be ‘merciful’ without discretion, else Lucifer would since have been back to his place in Heaven at the head of the Worship Team of holy angels.
They merely fry their own souls and die slowly who are too proud to ask pardon. Confession is the password for accessing forgiveness. Anyone who is too proud to say that they are sorry for what they have done wrong does not deserve forgiveness, even though it still has to be ‘given’ to them. Their attitude might be a warning that they could do worse if they were given another room. Every behaviour says something, and it pays to hear and hear well.
It says in Luke 17:3, “If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and IF he repent, forgive him.” Again, mark the conditional article “if” in that passage. What ‘if’ he does not repent? The answer is logically implied: if he does not repent, he forfeits forgiveness. One can ‘give’ forgiveness that the other cannot ‘download,’ which won’t be the fault of the giver. Giving is a choice, so is receiving. If one pours water that never gets to the skin of the duck, we should blame the insulating duck feathers, not the water-giver. Luke 17:3, like 1 John 1:9, also stresses the initiative that the trespasser should take to obtain forgiveness. “IF he repent, forgive him” would mean that ‘if’ he does not repent; ‘if’ he continues to insist on his right to cause offence; ‘if’ he continues to see nothing wrong with the attitude that so often causes offence; ‘if’ he always has justifications for all the troubles he causes everyone, beware of him. Forgiveness will change nothing in him even if it is righteously thrown at him. Where forgiveness is nonetheless dispensed, as it must be dispensed, it is for the benefit of the forgiver rather than the stiff offender. We are warned in Matthew 7:6 to mind what we give to whom.
Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces (NIV).
Repentance is much more than the words of ‘apology’ that someone utters and then walks away; it means a change of lifestyle in agreement with the rendered apology. A post-forgiveness lifestyle of insistent offences contradicts the peace that anyone might seem to have been seeking through apology. Apology without change is mere lip service. The test of true repentance is a changed lifestyle in words and deeds and thoughts. Jesus not only told the forgiven sinner to “go,” He also added that he should “sin no more” as he proceeded from that place of forgiveness (John 8:11). To ‘go’ from His forgiving presence back into the same faults would have been to take grace for granted.
Insightful!