FORGIVENESS (Chap 9, Series 15)

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Conditions in Forgiveness

Does Acts 17:30 mean that forgiveness may be given blankly; that a trespasser can be granted blanket forgiveness that is connected to no specific trespass?  Can I forgive someone, yet tell them of possible consequences if they should trespass again?

Sometimes it is necessary to specify post-forgiveness terms in a relationship, which terms, if breached, the culprit should be aware of the implications.  It is neither wisdom nor spirituality to shut the eyes to future or possible future trespasses merely based on past forgiveness.  David and Solomon might have abused the ‘clause of conditions’ in the terms of forgiveness, yet that does not make the process wrong.

Jesus said to a man He had already healed, “Behold, thou art [now] made whole: sin no more [after this forgiveness], LEST a worse thing come unto thee [in the future]” (John 5:14). Jesus was not only alerting the man to the conditions sustaining his present forgiveness and healing, but also clearly warning the already-forgiven man of the consequences if he should breach the post-forgiveness terms of ‘sinning no more.’  The warning to “sin NO MORE” suggests that the past trespasses had been forgiven; yet the word “lest” highlights the possibility of forfeiting the present blessedness and benefits of the forgiveness.

What Jesus offered that man was forgiveness with conditions; it was no blank forgiveness.  We cannot be more spiritual than the One who gave the law.  Interestingly, Jesus did not make the same statement to everyone He healed.  The implication is that people are different.  There are those who would never repeat an offence once pardoned, but there are others who would take your magnanimity for granted, sinning many times every day because you are a Great Forgiver.  Such should be confronted with the possibility that they could still forfeit a given forgiveness; that there are conditions they must respect if they wish to retain and enjoy the post-forgiveness status.

If the prodigal son had run back again to his reprobate ‘Far Country’ after enjoying his father’s feast, he would as soon have forfeited the announced benefits of his forgiven status.  Does forgiveness carry conditions?  Yes, but the conditions are usually post-forgiveness (as Jesus presented to the healed man) rather than pre-forgiveness (as Solomon gave to Mr Shimei).

Note: this sub-section has been entitled “Conditions IN Forgiveness,” not ‘conditions FOR forgiveness’ which would have suggested that a person must fulfil certain conditions to earn forgiveness.  It is not the spirit of true forgiveness to say, “Unless you do this and that, I cannot forgive you.  When you have fulfilled those conditions, you may return to collect forgiveness.”  That said, may it be repeated that despite the abuse of the conditional clause in some cases (for example, David/Solomon vs Shimei), sustainable forgiveness carries conditions.

If your servant has often brought you trouble by going to attend parties in your neighbour’s sitting room, you could say, post-forgiveness, “The next time you go to that house without my permission, you are fired from your job and immediately from my house.”  Would that be unrighteous of a boss?  No.  There is no forgiveness entirely without conditions for sustaining the peace.  Even where those ‘conditions’ might not have been clearly spelt out, they are notionally conceived and sometimes mutually ‘understood.’  Anyone who wants forgiveness but is unwilling to address the issues that often provoke offences, so as to not repeat them, is asking not for forgiveness but for the power to control the other.  Anyone who is asking for forgiveness but is unwilling to accept conditions to sustain the peace, has given the wrong name to what they are after.

Strangely, sometimes, a trespasser might also give conditions for peace, or they might negotiate the terms for their forgiveness.  Such cases generally betray the trespasser’s pride, as well as indicate that there has been no remorse.  Let us imagine that in the Matthew 18:23-35 parable on forgiveness, the guilty servant says to the king as he is brought mercifully out of jail, “Hi boss, if you really mean this forgiveness stuff and want me back in your palace, please increase my wages, never threaten me anymore with prison, and allow me my freedom of speech to also air my humble side of the narrative when I have to…”; that servant might then have been promptly returned to prison because the king would then be dealing not only with the immediate case of his indebtedness to the king but also with a fundamental heart problem of arrogance and sedition capable of generating worse conflicts in the future.

Offenders who must negotiate their forgiveness inadvertently announce their pride and a subtle claim to ‘equality’ with or even superiority to the offended. Unfortunately, in matters of trespass and forgiveness, the trespasser is not equal with the trespassed, the guilty is not equal with the pardoner, because the one who gives is usually greater than the one who receives, even forgiveness (Hebrews 7:7).   Offenders who must negotiate their forgiveness have their eyes on much more than the apparent forgiveness on the agenda.

While We Were Yet Sinning – or Sinners?

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).

 The passage above does not say, ‘While we were yet sinning, Christ forgave us,’ as if to suggest that God would keep supplying forgiveness while we continued to waste it in persistent sinning.  That is as some people would define forgiveness: a blind condoning eye on transgressions in the naïve name of mercy or love.  The passage says, “While we were yet sinners” He “died for us,” making the provision for pardon that we should receive whenever we would ‘come to ourselves,’ like the prodigal son, to ask forgiveness.  A sinner sins, yet the emphasis is specific on the state of the sinner rather than the sinning acts of the sinner.  God is not forgiving us while we are yet sinning, but He provided for forgiveness while we were still in the state of sin.  Christ’s death is an offer made; it is up to everyone what they do with that Offer.  What is the connection?  Properly, forgiveness is to be sought by the guilty, not thrown at the guilty by the generous and ‘loving’ forgiver.  Forgiveness is not for the sinning but the sinner who comes for it.  Forgiveness may be available ahead of confession, but it is not dispensed to the one who still sins, who does not request it.

‘Sinner’ in that passage describes a state; ‘sinning’ describes an ongoing action.   That Christ died for us while we were yet sinners says that He made provision for our restoration in spite of our sinful state.  It does not say that He was showering forgiveness on us while we were still in the act of sinning.  In other words, forgiveness is not for the one who is continuing stubbornly in trespasses.  Forgiveness addresses a past act of trespass, not a persisting lifestyle of trespassing.  A person might ignore or overlook a persisting trespasser, but we cannot describe that self-restraint as forgiveness, it is merely an overlooking of the offence, the maintaining of personal peace in spite of provocations.

Where each one stands with God depends on how they have treated (received or refused) His Offer that was made ‘while’ they were still in sin.  Countless souls go daily to hell in spite of an Offer made, or because of an Offer made but not received.  God is exonerated by the Offer made; the lost is damned by the Offer not utilised.  The prodigal son’s father’s doors were open for whenever the son would return from his profligate wanderings, but that did not mean that the father condoned the waywardness.  Forgiveness had been waiting at home; the son received it the day he came for it.  The father did not have to run after the fleeing son with the blank cheque of forgiveness just to prove what a loving father he was.  The offer had been there before the son came asking for it, but it was activated only when the son returned home in penitence confessing his sins.  The father’s kindness of heart ahead of the son’s return did not mean that the father had been approving of the ways from which that son was returning.

Forgiveness and Feelings

Will one always feel happy and high because one has forgiven somebody?  No.  Some ‘gifts’ are painful to give, because they are costly.  Such gifts are not often given with a dance and a smile, even if given willingly.  They are given not because one feels sweet doing so, but because one wishes to obey the voice of the Altar to which one approaches for sacrifice.  Abraham was certainly not smiling as he was about to kill and sacrifice Isaac his only son (Genesis 22:1-14).  Did his ‘not smiling’ mean that he was unwilling or insincere about what he was about to do?  No.  It was a painful sacrifice he was about to make, and the weight of it was on him, willing though he was.

Did Jesus offer His life willingly to save the world from sin?  Yes, very willingly.  Was He smiling or crying on the cross in the process of that sacrifice? Check the Bible: Matthew 27:46, 50; John 10:15.   So, the feeling expressed or perceived is not always a true measure of the will or willingness or disposition of the giver, neither does it define the status or quality of the gift.  The fact that I still feel sharp pains from an injury whose inflictor I have forgiven does not mean that I have not forgiven or did not forgive.  The fact that I occasionally twinge from the pain in my flesh does not say that I still harbour a grudge in my heart.  On the other hand, the fact that someone laughs in the face of a heinous trespass against them might not mean that they feel no pain, that they have forgiven, or that they are enjoying the moment.  The gesture could mean something deadly.  In other words, in matters of forgiveness, the face alone might not always show the ‘truth.’  Not all pains show on the face; not all smiles mean peace.

Late one evening in 2015, a gangster stabbed a woman at the bus stop and ran off with her handbag into the crowded darkness.  Unfortunately for the thief, he got caught; and fortunately for the woman, she survived the stabs.  Weeks later, the young man was brought to her for identification, preceding prosecution.  She identified him, but said she had forgiven him and was unwilling to press charges.  For six months after the attack, she was still out of work at her bank, treating her deep stab wounds.  She walked thereafter with a kind of stylish limp. The forgiveness to her attacker did not take away her physical pains.  That she was still feeling pains in the body did not mean that she had not forgiven him in her soul.  So, the presence of pains (in the body or in the soul) does not mean the absence of forgiveness.  Some injuries take longer to heal, and injuries can be painful.  That the body is still in the process of healing does not question what the heart has given; that somebody conceals their pain might not also mean that they have forgiven.  They might merely be awaiting their best chance for revenge.

To be continued …

MINISTERS FORUM

A trans-denominational edification platform for every believer

          • Date: Monday, April 6, 2026
          • Venue: Conference Hall, Graduate Business School, St. John’s Campus,
          • Aba Road, Ignatius Ajuru University of Education, Port Harcourt
          • Time: 4.00pm, Nigeria time
          • Topic: Moses: The Man and the Mission
          • Speaker: Prof Kontein Trinya

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GET THESE BOOKS …

One year ago, in March 2025, we posted the last in the series from the book on Forgiveness, thereafter commencing the serialisation of the book, One Woman, Five Husbands: Christian Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage and other messages that followed, prophetically addressing the seasons.  Copies of that classic book on Christian marriage and divorce have been out since September 2025. We are urged to return and resume the series on Forgiveness from where we paused a year ago.

For copies of the book Forgiveness (and others not yet out of print), kindly reach us through the contact details provided, or visit the online shops through the links supplied below for the electronic editions of the books so listed – at Amazon and Selar books.

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