Assurance of Forgiveness (Forgiveness, Chap 9, Series 16)

Assurance of Forgiveness  (Forgiveness, Chap 9, Series 16)

We concede that feelings alone might not always be a true expression of the degree of penitence (on the part of the trespasser) or of forgiveness (on the part of the forgiver), although they are veritable indicators.  There are other indicators of the state of forgiveness that we can glean from the story of Joseph and the parable of the prodigal son.  The effort here is to address two questions:

• how do I know that I have forgiven?
• how do I know that I have been forgiven?

Both the forgiver and the forgiven want to be assured that repentance and restoration have taken place.  The offender needs it for their healing, the offended needs it also for the cleansing of their righteous soul.  On the side of the forgiver, Lewis B. Smedes says, “You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well” (Smedes).  On the side of the offender, Clarissa Pinkola Estes remarks, “You tend to feel sorrow over the circumstance instead of rage, you tend to feel sorry for the person rather than angry with him.  You tend to have nothing left to say about it all” (Pinkola).

Did Joseph forgive his brothers?  Yes.  Did it show?  Yes.  The assurance of his forgiveness came in the form of his tears, which seemed to have been saying that the matter was over, from his end.  When a sinner is forgiven, how does Heaven show it?  How might other residents of Heaven know?  One indicator is the traditional celebration in Heaven over one soul saved (Luke 15:7).  Did the father of the prodigal son forgive the son?  Yes.  Could he hide his forgiveness to the returned son?  No.  How did the forgiveness show?  There was a genuine party in the palace.  In fact, the father proceeded to concretise the gesture by the new clothes and shoes and ring procured for the ‘undeserving’ returnee.  The father did not say in exact words, “I forgive you,” but the point was substantially ‘said’ in other words and actions.

In all the cases cited above, we find active assurance one to the other.  Such ‘concrete’ assurance relaxes the ‘prodigal’ who has taken the pains to make the long trip ‘back home,’ persuading him that his effort has not been in vain; it also assures the forgiving ‘father’ that his kindness has not been taken for granted.   Dispensing forgiveness may therefore not always end on the lips that say so; it might also need to show in the mutual tears and the feasts that follow.  If applying for forgiveness may be verbalised, so also may the assurance of forgiveness be concretised.  To assure His people that He had pardoned them, God sent a prophet to them, to ‘concretise’ the assurance of the forgiveness.  Here are the ‘concretizing’ words of that messenger:

1 Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God.

2 Speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her, that her warfare is accomplished, that her iniquity is pardoned: for she hath received of the LORD’S hand double for all her sins (Isaiah 40:1-2)

From the Forgiver to the forgiven, through a trusted prophetic third party, was a message of double comfort (“Comfort ye, comfort ye my people”); an assurance of iniquity pardoned; a verbalisation of the fact of forgiveness.  The prophetic messenger stood as a concrete witness to the assurance between the parties.  Sometimes this pattern hastens healing in the tender penitent soul.  Silent confession may be audible to God, but not to the offended human.  Similarly, unexpressed forgiveness sometimes provides little help to relieve the truly penitent soul who craves that ‘tangible’ therapeutic reassurance.

Imagine that the prodigal son’s father had opened the door to the boy and then walked away, saying nothing, doing nothing; that might have been worse for that boy than being back among the swine from where he had fled.  Silent reception to a broken penitent child is open to endless interpretations that can lead to worse.  Say something; do something.  Forgiveness is a transaction, like the offence was.  Verbalisation (by the confessor or the pardoner) provides assurance to the other, and quickens the healing process.  It must be admitted that this will not be easy in all cases.  Some words will be hard to say, especially when they have to be said to an ‘undeserving’ offender.  All the same, ‘hard’ to say does not mean ‘impossible’ to say.

In the story of the prodigal son, we hear the son’s voice; we also hear the reassuring voice of the father, tough as it might have been for that dad to do what he did.  The assurance that each received was the other’s voice that they heard.  The penitent offender craves to be assured that they have been forgiven; the offended wishes to be assured that they will not be hurt again.  Each one carries a need that the other should meet.  Verbalisation, or other unambiguous ‘vocal’ actions, help that process.

It must be quickly added, however, that people differ in their expression of emotions.  Not everybody expresses joy or sadness in the same way, and some have been trained to not laugh or cry in public.  We could therefore be mistaken if we judged all folks absolutely by those or other observable conventional emotional expressions.  It will not be correct to say in every case that, because the gesture of forgiveness was not immediately emotionally ‘concretized’ by the giver, true forgiveness did not take place.  Neither will it be correct to say in every case that, because the receiver did not receive the forgiveness with visible tears, they did not value what they were given.  Furthermore, the forgiven person should not also say of themselves that because they did not ‘feel’ the heavenly fatherly reception ‘party,’ forgiveness was not frankly granted.  Trust and faith are crucial.  After all, we do not always hear from earth the ‘reception’ parties of angels in heaven over repenting souls, yet those parties have not ceased in Heaven, according to Jesus (Luke 15:7).

Besides external gestures, the peace of heart in the forgiver and the forgiven is a great sign that healing is taking place in the relationship, even where restoration to a previous status in the relationship might not be immediate.  As Corrie Ten Boom would say, “Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart” (brainyquote.com).

WHAT TO EXPECT AT THESE RETREATS

The Preacher retreats are usually a special gathering for believers seeking spiritual renewal and a deeper fellowship with God through passionate prayers, intense study of the Word, and lively worship.  Previous participants consistently declare that the spiritual atmosphere at the retreats is the kind of deepness their soul always longed for, somewhere every serious Christian (especially ministers) should be at, something that reminded them of the fire in the early days of their Christian experience.  Starting from Friday evening to Sunday morning, each retreat is usually very intense but very memorable three days.

The retreats usually offer refreshing encounters of no regrets. Meeting brothers and sisters from different Christian and social backgrounds and relating freely and refreshingly as if you had known yourselves all your life time, is another takeaway that many recall.  The retreats are guided by the spiritual principle of cooperate ministrations, giving everyone a room to bless everyone else with their unique spiritual gifts and talents, as one big family.

As part of the personal preparations for the retreats, intending participants are usually encouraged to study a given book of the Bible while also observing a weeklong daily fast from the Monday of the retreat week.  Participants break the daily fasts with a dinner, and on Sunday morning, there is breakfast before departure, after a brief service concluded with a memorable Holy Communion from which there have usually come testimonies of remarkable healings.

See you at the next retreat …

For respective retreat details, see registration and contact information on the fliers.

GET THESE BOOKS …

One year ago, in March 2025, we posted the last in the series from the book on Forgiveness, thereafter commencing the serialisation of the book, One Woman, Five Husbands: Christian Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage and other messages that followed, prophetically addressing the seasons.  Copies of that classic book on Christian marriage and divorce have been out since September 2025. We are urged to return and resume the series on Forgiveness from where we paused a year ago.

For copies of the book Forgiveness (and others not yet out of print), kindly reach us through the contact details provided, or visit the online shops through the links supplied below for the electronic editions of the books so listed – at Amazon and Selar books.

• https://selar.co/m/kontein-trinya1?search=forgiveness – Forgiveness
• https://a.co/d/01BtigEN – One Woman, Five Husbands: Christian Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage
• https://selar.co/903394 – Balaam
• https://selar.co/1g4486 – Stray Bullets
• https://selar.co/443i94 – Mystic Markets
• https://selar.co/q4454b – Beyond Holiness